Saturday, January 29, 2005
Gulliver’s travels - A trip to Bangalore
Preface
Gulliver’s voyages have lead to him to fascinating places such as Lilliput, Laputa and the likes, strange lands inhabited by strange yet interesting people. In his new adventure Gulliver finds himself in city called Bangalore. In the first chapter (detailed below) he describes his first impressions of Bangalore and how none of his previous adventures had quite prepared him for this unique experience.
Chapter – I
My tour of the war torn city began from an old residential area called Malleswaram. The signs of a prolonged conflict were evident here. The deep trenches on either sides of the road formed the most prominent landscape of this neighborhood. As my tour of the city continued, I noticed that most of the city’s landscape was dotted with WW-I type trenches, yellow metal barricades and mini craters (referred to as potholes by the natives). I was in half a mind to advice my guide, who was driving this funny box shape vehicle, to pin a U.N flag on the vehicle. A U.N flag I hoped would deter any armed militant hiding in one of these trenches from taking a potshot at us.
From the details I managed to elicit from the locals I could form a hazy picture about the conflict and the various militia involved in it. The chief militant organization is the dreaded “Broadband & services” faction. The organization itself is comprised of numerous fanatical rival militant groups, all united by a common cause - that of delivering ‘Broadband’. These outfits especially the bigger ones MTNL, BSNL, Reliance, BESCOM to name a few, specialize in trench warfare and over years of experience have reached the pinnacle of know-how in this domain. No one can be sure of when a ‘blitzkrieg’ would be launched by this militia, and when it does come, the attack is swift and sudden. Trenches crop up overnight, cutting the supply lines and leaving the civilians stranded. A few of these groups, like BESCOM, are not even ideologically committed to the ‘Broadband’ cause, but like digging up trenches nonetheless. Most of the outfits are however fanatically devoted to the cause, one of them even has a motto which claims that it was their Father’s dream to deliver ‘Broadband’ to the masses and they would not stop until they fulfill his desire (Papa Ka Sapna - in one of the numerous native tongues). However, at times the ‘Broadband’ faction does lose ground to the ruling junta and is forced to retreat. The retreat, unlike the attack, is slow and long drawn as the militia attempts to close up the trenches in a shoddy manner to ensure that the government forces cannot take up positions in these trenches nor can there ever be a smooth flow of government or civilian convoy in this area in future.
The government consists of two parties whose political ideologies are disparate, to say the least. The ruling junta has its own strategy for combating the menace of the militia. Apparently, the government operations of defense and consolidation of territory it controls are executed under the code names ‘Underpass’ and ‘Flyover Construction’. The strategy employed is brilliantly simple. It involves digging up entire stretches of arterial roads. Once there is no road, there would not exist any “either sides” of the road for the militia to build their trenches.
It is said that during the early years of WW-II, the British were apprehensive about the possibility of a Nazi invasion and decided to take measures to counter such a situation, if it ever happened. The most prominent step taken was that of purposely (and professionally) changing road signs and directions to confuse the invading army. I am not completely sure about which invading army the authorities of Bangalore are anxious of; in any case the counter measures for such an occurrence is in place and far superior to that devised by the Brits. The complex strategy is centered on radically changing the direction of traffic flow, on a regular basis. Two ways are transformed into one ways, one ways become two ways, One ways from West to East or from North to South turn into One ways from East to West or South to North. These amazing measures leave the locals themselves thoroughly confused; one can only imagine the confusion in the ranks of the invading army. If the invading squadron does manage to figure out the route to take, they cannot advance too far, for they are certain to be caught up in a traffic jam just around the corner. I have heard of the famous statement “All roads lead to Rome” but in Bangalore I learnt a new axiom “All roads lead to traffic jams”.
Much of the chaos in the city could be attributed to the militia and the government. However the one prominent feature that remained completely inexplicable to me, was that of the potholes. Elephants, Rhinos, Hippos and other heavy weight animals taken out for a jog, everyday on the roads from the national park, located in the outskirts of the city could be only the possible reason for formation of some of these mini craters. However I never got a chance to verify this theory.
Circumstances have an influence on every individual in the society. Harsher the condition, greater is the impact on the individual. The day-to-day conditions in the city have had an impact on its residents; it has vastly improved their communication skills. This fact can be ascertained from the ever-increasing list of ‘letters to the editor’ in various journals and the numerous ‘Public Interest Litigations’ filed everyday. A truly civilized and optimistic set of people these, who still believe that, help from the judiciary and an awareness campaign would set things right, sooner or later.
Gulliver’s voyages have lead to him to fascinating places such as Lilliput, Laputa and the likes, strange lands inhabited by strange yet interesting people. In his new adventure Gulliver finds himself in city called Bangalore. In the first chapter (detailed below) he describes his first impressions of Bangalore and how none of his previous adventures had quite prepared him for this unique experience.
Chapter – I
My tour of the war torn city began from an old residential area called Malleswaram. The signs of a prolonged conflict were evident here. The deep trenches on either sides of the road formed the most prominent landscape of this neighborhood. As my tour of the city continued, I noticed that most of the city’s landscape was dotted with WW-I type trenches, yellow metal barricades and mini craters (referred to as potholes by the natives). I was in half a mind to advice my guide, who was driving this funny box shape vehicle, to pin a U.N flag on the vehicle. A U.N flag I hoped would deter any armed militant hiding in one of these trenches from taking a potshot at us.
From the details I managed to elicit from the locals I could form a hazy picture about the conflict and the various militia involved in it. The chief militant organization is the dreaded “Broadband & services” faction. The organization itself is comprised of numerous fanatical rival militant groups, all united by a common cause - that of delivering ‘Broadband’. These outfits especially the bigger ones MTNL, BSNL, Reliance, BESCOM to name a few, specialize in trench warfare and over years of experience have reached the pinnacle of know-how in this domain. No one can be sure of when a ‘blitzkrieg’ would be launched by this militia, and when it does come, the attack is swift and sudden. Trenches crop up overnight, cutting the supply lines and leaving the civilians stranded. A few of these groups, like BESCOM, are not even ideologically committed to the ‘Broadband’ cause, but like digging up trenches nonetheless. Most of the outfits are however fanatically devoted to the cause, one of them even has a motto which claims that it was their Father’s dream to deliver ‘Broadband’ to the masses and they would not stop until they fulfill his desire (Papa Ka Sapna - in one of the numerous native tongues). However, at times the ‘Broadband’ faction does lose ground to the ruling junta and is forced to retreat. The retreat, unlike the attack, is slow and long drawn as the militia attempts to close up the trenches in a shoddy manner to ensure that the government forces cannot take up positions in these trenches nor can there ever be a smooth flow of government or civilian convoy in this area in future.
The government consists of two parties whose political ideologies are disparate, to say the least. The ruling junta has its own strategy for combating the menace of the militia. Apparently, the government operations of defense and consolidation of territory it controls are executed under the code names ‘Underpass’ and ‘Flyover Construction’. The strategy employed is brilliantly simple. It involves digging up entire stretches of arterial roads. Once there is no road, there would not exist any “either sides” of the road for the militia to build their trenches.
It is said that during the early years of WW-II, the British were apprehensive about the possibility of a Nazi invasion and decided to take measures to counter such a situation, if it ever happened. The most prominent step taken was that of purposely (and professionally) changing road signs and directions to confuse the invading army. I am not completely sure about which invading army the authorities of Bangalore are anxious of; in any case the counter measures for such an occurrence is in place and far superior to that devised by the Brits. The complex strategy is centered on radically changing the direction of traffic flow, on a regular basis. Two ways are transformed into one ways, one ways become two ways, One ways from West to East or from North to South turn into One ways from East to West or South to North. These amazing measures leave the locals themselves thoroughly confused; one can only imagine the confusion in the ranks of the invading army. If the invading squadron does manage to figure out the route to take, they cannot advance too far, for they are certain to be caught up in a traffic jam just around the corner. I have heard of the famous statement “All roads lead to Rome” but in Bangalore I learnt a new axiom “All roads lead to traffic jams”.
Much of the chaos in the city could be attributed to the militia and the government. However the one prominent feature that remained completely inexplicable to me, was that of the potholes. Elephants, Rhinos, Hippos and other heavy weight animals taken out for a jog, everyday on the roads from the national park, located in the outskirts of the city could be only the possible reason for formation of some of these mini craters. However I never got a chance to verify this theory.
Circumstances have an influence on every individual in the society. Harsher the condition, greater is the impact on the individual. The day-to-day conditions in the city have had an impact on its residents; it has vastly improved their communication skills. This fact can be ascertained from the ever-increasing list of ‘letters to the editor’ in various journals and the numerous ‘Public Interest Litigations’ filed everyday. A truly civilized and optimistic set of people these, who still believe that, help from the judiciary and an awareness campaign would set things right, sooner or later.
# posted by Akshai @ 9:17 AM 
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