Wednesday, April 27, 2005
The Specsy Story
Four eyes, Soda, Sod etc were some of the ‘benevolent’ words used to refer to a classmate who happened to wear glasses in school or college. Among these oft-used words, the one that really stood out was ‘specsy’. Don’t really know how or from where this word originated but for some reason it sounds sensual. If I ever were addressed as specsy, I wouldn’t take any offense to it. ‘He is the specsy guy’ would sound great. Gives an impression that I am overflowing in the right kind of hormones. So what's with my sudden obsession about specs and stupid thesis about being specsy? Unfortunately the world, bright and clear doesn't appear all that bright and clear anymore. The forces of the Dark side have taken over. The Dark side has ensured that my life henceforth would literally be 'Spec'tacular.
On a peaceful weekend morning when I should have ideally been at home reading 'The Hindu' (would have kept me occupied the entire day) and drinking some strong filter coffee, I ventured to the Ophthalmologist's clinic. There was this boring activity of reading out some A,B,C,D stuff written on a board placed a few meters away. It would have remained a boring activity when suddenly the doc decided to add some variety by covering one of my eyes and asking me to read the obscure lower lines in the board. Well err....I confidently read out whatever little I could see from that distance. Instead of asking me to identify stupid letters had they asked me to identify pics of models at twice or even thrice the distance I would have maxed it for sure (I read/see Bangalore Times everyday, I am upto date in this), it ain't fair you know, this system of testing. I guess my 'brilliant' reading performance wasn't convincing enough and so the doc decided to have a closer look and proceeded to dilate my pupils. After a few rounds of dilation the world all around looked blurred, felt like I was in a trance or something. Then the doc started flashing this bright torch in my eye and took out this giant lens and had a close, really close look at my eyes and pronounced, 'You have power', frankly that made me feel quite powerless. *sigh*. Oh there is silver lining though, I require to have my glasses on only when I am working on the computer or seeing TV. Brilliant, hell the two activities mentioned account for 90% of my 'awake' time.
Wonder what impression my new look, i mean with my glasses and all, would create on people. I think about it (or atleast attempt to) and the more I do it makes me nervous as hell. Here are a few samples of my thought:
- Come across as an intellect or a sophisticated type: I wish, I really wish I were. This would be really phony though, more a case of sheep in wolves clothing, or something like that. Could also end up being a serious hazard in professional life. People thinking that I am brainy and stuff and start dumping every complicated damn problem on me. Would be the end of my peaceful existence
- Serious type: "He looks like a serious type ya. Must be a boring guy na?" 'Plonk', 'Thud' !! I can literally hear my already lousy market value hit rock bottom.
- Funny or comical type: Yup, this would go well with my PJ King image. But on second thoughts I wonder who in the world would ever take me seriously if I convey such an impression.
Damn them all. So many problems, so little time to sort 'em out. People, the Dark Side is taking over, the end is just around the corner.