Wednesday, January 19, 2005
Gods Own Quotes
A few memorable quotes and jokes from a truly memorable trip to ‘Gods own country’.
~ “There is always a better song”
Could be described as ‘Optimism at its best’. A very mild way of saying ‘When you got nothing, you got nothing to lose’.
~ “The world is your paddy field”
A highly abstract statement, a complete understanding of which requires knowledge well beyond the boundaries of farming.
~ “S.O.S means Save Our Souls”
An example of how Asphalt always likes to start his lectures from the basics.
~ “.-.-.- (dot dash dot dash dot dash)”
S.O.S, in Morse code(courtesy Asphalt). A useful piece of info to know if you happen to be stranded in a telegraph office.
~ “3 puffs in a factory”
S.O.S code again. One wonders what would be left in the canteen of the factory if puffs were wasted on S.O.S signals.
~ “MunnarBhai MBBS”
A person or a group of people travelling to Munnar.
~ “Bom-sandra (Bommasandra) , Sa-lame (Salem), Dharmagiri”
Englishman trying to pronounce the names of ‘bloody Indian’ towns. Eventually ended up creating a hybrid town named Dharmagiri.
~ “Was building my balls for two years”
One shudders to think what else Asphalt was up to in Sweden.
~ “These are not my songs”
Mukesh Bhai vehemently denying the fact that the songs loaded from his computer was the ones he listens to. CEO’s have a public image to maintain you see.
~ “Seal all entrances”
Why leave ‘space’ for discontent? What say Mukesh Bhai? ;-)
~ “NASA mission aborted”
When there is input, there has to be an output. Delivering the payload is serious stuff.
~ “You are no longer fit to be called Drona”
Stung by the criticism, Drona surrendered his arms and took to flowers instead.
~ “Ye….ID card thorsu ….security”
Mukesh and Anil trying to crackdown on gatecrashers in the board meeting.
~ “Maathaji, have you taken your heart tablets?”
A concerned Anil, wondering whether Kokilabehan would survive the interrogation of Mukesh and himself.
~ ‘On happiness….’
~ ‘Mukesh Bhai: A guy likes having pizzas. He gets to eat pizzas everyday. That’s not permanent happiness”
~ ‘Semaphore Chilli’: A guy likes having pizzas. He gets to eat pizzas everyday. That’s permanent happiness”
The only guy who will be happy, without a shadow of doubt, would be the owner of Pizza Hut.
~ “Ferrite coating….”
Asphalt - India’s Child genius, attempting to enlighten the ignorant masses about technology.
~ “Two 1000 rupee jackets flanking a 100 rupee flower show”
Ranting of the owner of one of the Rs. 1000 jackets.
~ “I am not an Englishman. I am not the one with the handy cam”
Englishman taking a dig at Indians. ‘Bloody Indian’s’ cannot afford a cam.
~ The Board Meeting: Results
- Security to be beefed up in order to deter gatecrashers.
- Kokilabehan unanimously declaring that the next board boarding would be held in Kochi.
- Mukesh and Anil stay continue as board members after acquiring an indemnity against
~ “There is always a better song”
Could be described as ‘Optimism at its best’. A very mild way of saying ‘When you got nothing, you got nothing to lose’.
~ “The world is your paddy field”
A highly abstract statement, a complete understanding of which requires knowledge well beyond the boundaries of farming.
~ “S.O.S means Save Our Souls”
An example of how Asphalt always likes to start his lectures from the basics.
~ “.-.-.- (dot dash dot dash dot dash)”
S.O.S, in Morse code(courtesy Asphalt). A useful piece of info to know if you happen to be stranded in a telegraph office.
~ “3 puffs in a factory”
S.O.S code again. One wonders what would be left in the canteen of the factory if puffs were wasted on S.O.S signals.
~ “MunnarBhai MBBS”
A person or a group of people travelling to Munnar.
~ “Bom-sandra (Bommasandra) , Sa-lame (Salem), Dharmagiri”
Englishman trying to pronounce the names of ‘bloody Indian’ towns. Eventually ended up creating a hybrid town named Dharmagiri.
~ “Was building my balls for two years”
One shudders to think what else Asphalt was up to in Sweden.
~ “These are not my songs”
Mukesh Bhai vehemently denying the fact that the songs loaded from his computer was the ones he listens to. CEO’s have a public image to maintain you see.
~ “Seal all entrances”
Why leave ‘space’ for discontent? What say Mukesh Bhai? ;-)
~ “NASA mission aborted”
When there is input, there has to be an output. Delivering the payload is serious stuff.
~ “You are no longer fit to be called Drona”
Stung by the criticism, Drona surrendered his arms and took to flowers instead.
~ “Ye….ID card thorsu ….security”
Mukesh and Anil trying to crackdown on gatecrashers in the board meeting.
~ “Maathaji, have you taken your heart tablets?”
A concerned Anil, wondering whether Kokilabehan would survive the interrogation of Mukesh and himself.
~ ‘On happiness….’
~ ‘Mukesh Bhai: A guy likes having pizzas. He gets to eat pizzas everyday. That’s not permanent happiness”
~ ‘Semaphore Chilli’: A guy likes having pizzas. He gets to eat pizzas everyday. That’s permanent happiness”
The only guy who will be happy, without a shadow of doubt, would be the owner of Pizza Hut.
~ “Ferrite coating….”
Asphalt - India’s Child genius, attempting to enlighten the ignorant masses about technology.
~ “Two 1000 rupee jackets flanking a 100 rupee flower show”
Ranting of the owner of one of the Rs. 1000 jackets.
~ “I am not an Englishman. I am not the one with the handy cam”
Englishman taking a dig at Indians. ‘Bloody Indian’s’ cannot afford a cam.
~ The Board Meeting: Results
- Security to be beefed up in order to deter gatecrashers.
- Kokilabehan unanimously declaring that the next board boarding would be held in Kochi.
- Mukesh and Anil stay continue as board members after acquiring an indemnity against
further prosecution. Its their company after all…;-)
- Asphalt thrown out for disgracing the board.
- ‘The unpaid lawyer of the non members’ – Chilli, expelled from the board initially on charges
- Asphalt thrown out for disgracing the board.
- ‘The unpaid lawyer of the non members’ – Chilli, expelled from the board initially on charges
of flouting the board’s moratorium on theatres/movies and later for a more grievous crime
of attempting a hostile takeover of the board itself.
~ A few unsolved mysteries that would make it to the X-Files:
- The Scorpio Bermuda Triangle mystery – Apparently the hunt is still on for
the Pachki Pachki (or whatever) and the bottle cap.
- The Joggers mystery on coimbatore bypass – Were they really humans??
~ A few unsolved mysteries that would make it to the X-Files:
- The Scorpio Bermuda Triangle mystery – Apparently the hunt is still on for
the Pachki Pachki (or whatever) and the bottle cap.
- The Joggers mystery on coimbatore bypass – Were they really humans??
# posted by Akshai @ 9:19 AM 
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I see that you have done a Virumandi by contorting the facts of the Board Meeting. Never mind, truth shall prevail! :)
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